


Loki's Dilemma

by RiverOfStyx



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Dog Thor, Fluff and Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Loki Feels, M/M, Sappy, Thor Feels, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 14:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3695612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverOfStyx/pseuds/RiverOfStyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amora turns Thor into a dog, more specifically a Cardigan Corgi, and now it's Loki's responsibility to change him back. It proves to be easier said than done, and Loki is forced to care for Thor until he can undo the spell. Feelings come to light and yeah well, you know what happens next. Pretty PG except for feels and kissing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loki's Dilemma

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired By Caycowa's Thorgi:  
> http://caycowa.deviantart.com/art/Thorgi-416506768
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own any of Marvel's characters or related places/things, I'm just playing with them for a bit.
> 
> Notes: After seeing Caycowa's Thorgi art the idea wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. If you want to know what I think Thor looks like here's a link to one of my pins of a Cardigan Corgi:  
> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/335799715942509758/
> 
> If anyone cares the main differences between a Cardigan Corgi and a Pembroke Corgi are that they're a little heavier/bigger, have bigger ears, come in different colors, and have tails. I'm probably biased anyways since I have my own Cardigan Corgi at home.
> 
> This fic is unbeta'd so all the mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Loki hates Amora, he really, really does. Not only is she a complete bitch, but now she’s a bitch with a grudge, and if Loki knows anything about sorceresses it’s that you don’t want to get on their bad side. 

It’s not even his fault, Thor was the moron stupid enough to get involved with the Vanir sorceress. Now… now he’s having to deal with the consequences of Thor’s foolishness.

She’d screeched something about ‘it serves you right’ or whatever and ‘now you can have him all to yourself,’ the last of which she’d said at him. Who knows what that’s about since he avoids the bitch at all costs when she visits the Aesir court. 

Now in the wake of her disappearance the purple cloud surrounding both her and Thor dissipates except… Thor isn’t there anymore.

Loki looks at the pile of armor and he can’t decide if he should laugh or rage in frustration.

There on the ground strewn amongst the pile of armor with the red cape pooling around it is a puppy with Thor’s helmet covering most of its face and back, Mjölnir lying forgotten on the ground beside it.

Loki just stares at it along with the other bystanders, all of whom seem to be in as much of a state of shock as he is, and then the thing barks and tries to lift its nose to dislodge the helmet. The sound seems to jolt everyone out of their stupors because the entire entryway to the palace is suddenly buzzing with noise bordering on mass hysteria.

Loki stalks towards the thing when it seems no one else is going to approach the puppy and lifts Thor’s admittedly heavy helmet off the thing’s head. Loki just stares at the puppy for a moment and then it barks at him again so he picks it up gingerly underneath its front arms.

The creature is absolutely… adorable, there’s no two ways around it, and Loki snorts thinking only Thor would look as disgustingly huggable and cheerful as a dog as he does as an Aesir. He’s a… corgi Loki thinks if his Midgardian terminology is up to date, why he even knows that he has no idea. The puppy is the same gold color of his hair with white markings on his face, paws, chest, and the tip of his tail, which is wagging happily of course, and the same vivid blue eyes that only belong to one individual he knows in all the realms.

“Thor?” he queries cautiously.

The puppy barks at him and licks his nose causing him to jerk back reflexively and nearly drop the thing as he exclaims, “Yuck!”

Thor yaps again and lets his pink tongue loll out of his mouth happily as he pants and wags his tail. 

Loki sighs, he can feel the headache coming on already, and intones, “Let us find Mother then, perhaps she’ll know what to do with you.”

Loki sets the puppy (Thor) down and turns on his heel to start heading towards Mother’s gardens, where she’ll undoubtedly be this time of day, but he’s stopped by a loud yap once he’s at the end of the hallway. The bark sounds further away than it should so Loki glances over his shoulder only to find the puppy running as fast as his little legs will allow, tripping occasionally, and he’s still barely halfway down the hallway. Loki face palms and waits for the thing to get to him, where he plops down on the floor immediately panting heavily.

“You are such a spoilt little cretin,” Loki grumbles as he picks the puppy up, only to have it lick his cheek again. “Eww, none of that unless you want me to drop you,” Loki commands sharply to the puppy cradled in his long arm. 

The puppy flattens its admittedly hilariously huge ears and whines pitifully at him. 

“This is so not fair,” Loki grumbles as he begins heading towards the gardens again. 

…

“What do you mean I have to fix him!” Loki practically shouts as he stands before the Allfather, while Mother coos over the puppy Thor.

“Loki watch your tone!” Father reprimands harshly.

“But I don’t even know animal transfiguration seidr, I am an illusionist and a shifter not a magician that can just turn him back,” Loki whines. 

“Then I suggest you learn, I’m sure you can find something in the library,” Father replies, waving a hand dismissively. These incidents of Thor getting himself into a bind are nothing new and Father just brushes them off now with alarming regularity.

“Fine, I’ll get right on that,” Loki grates out and bows stiffly before turning and striding to leave the throne room. 

He’s stopped by a series of loud yapping whines and Father’s voice saying over the racket, “Aren’t you forgetting something Loki?”

Loki turns and sees the puppy, or Thor he supposes, squirming desperately in Mother’s arms trying to get down.

“Surely you jest,” Loki deadpans, not at all amused by the implication.

Mother lets the struggling Thor down, who immediately runs at him full tilt and right into his leg because he failed to stop fast enough on the marble floors. Father’s face says it all, but the protest on his lips is cut off by Mother’s, “I think it’ll be nice dear. It will give you some time for you and Thor to bond again, you’ve been at odds as of late.”

They’ve been at odds, as she puts it, their whole lives, but he’s not about to backtalk to Mother either. It still doesn’t keep him from replying, “You want me to take care of a dog.”

“It’s Thor darling, be nice to your brother,” Mother reprimands. 

Loki looks at the puppy panting at his feet, looking thoroughly content, and has to resist the strong urge to kick it. Instead he turns sharply on his heel and leaves the stupid mutt to keep up with him.

…

Loki spends the rest of the day trying to determine just how much of Thor was actually retained with the change and comes to the conclusion: not much. The puppy knows its name, who he is, his way around the palace, recognizes Mjölnir (since he ran up to her and head butted her making her fall over) and his friends. He seems to understand him well enough as well as have Thor’s disgustingly cheerful personality, but other than that Thor is now a dog through and through. 

Loki also learns rather distressingly that Thor doesn’t want to stay with anyone but him all day long. Even his friends, who seemed to entertain him enough, were not sufficient companionship if Loki looked like he was going to leave, beginning to whine and bark incessantly until he was put down again to run to his side. 

…

Loki makes a bed for Thor out of some extra furs and goes to wash up for the night, but he can hear Thor whining the entire time outside his door so his bath is hardly what he’d call relaxing in the least.

Dressed for bed Loki places Thor on his bedding of furs and intones firmly, “Stay,” before extinguishing the candles and climbing into his own.

Five minutes later…

“Hroo,” Loki hears at the bottom of his bed.

“Shut up Thor and go to sleep,” Loki snaps as he rolls over irritably.

“Hroooo,” Thor whines pathetically not even a minute later.

The noise gets louder and closer to Loki no matter how much he tosses and turns. Every time he switches sides of the bed Thor just goes to that side and whines instead. Finally after about twenty minutes of this Loki has had enough and yells, “Fine you insufferable creature come here!” as he sits up in bed feeling thoroughly annoyed. 

Thor is already peeking over the edge with the end of his nose and when Loki looks over it his tail is wagging madly. 

“I hate you,” Loki grumbles as he picks up the warm ball of fluff and sets it on the bed. 

“You have to sleep on the end, no ifs, ands, or buts,” Loki scolds, pointing a finger at the puppy. 

Thor just licks his finger and plops down on the end of the bed only to fall asleep in five seconds. Loki sighs and rolls his eyes, but he’s thankful he can at least go to sleep now.

…

Loki is awakened by something licking his face, which he swats at immediately only to receive a sharp whimper when his hand connects with fur. His eyes snap open and he’s confronted with a… puppy.

Damn it was too good to hope it was just a bad dream, he thinks.

Thor places both of his paws on Loki’s chest and yaps at him before running to the end of the bed and looking off of it while wagging his tail madly.

“If you urinate or do something else unmentionable in my room I will turn you into something far worse than a dog,” Loki threatens, causing the puppy Thor to duck his ears and whine before they spring up again and his tail wagging picks back up. Loki supposes that’s the best acknowledgement he’s going to get, so he gets up and places Thor on the floor before opening his door and watches the puppy scramble from the room and run down the hallway out of sight.

Loki shrugs to himself and supposes Thor will find his way back, and if he doesn’t then… it’s no real loss to him, he thinks with a small smile. 

The scratching at his door thirty minutes later tells Loki he wasn’t fortunate enough for Thor to fall into a well somewhere, but he sighs and opens the door nonetheless for the creature to come barreling inside yapping happily.

Loki stares at Thor when he places his little paws on his thigh and whines. He crosses his arms resolutely and replies, “Absolutely not, don’t even think it.” Thor ducks his ears pathetically and whimpers, but dutifully curls onto his bed of furs and doesn’t bother him again. 

…

Loki ignores all of Thor’s attempts to get attention throughout the day, much preferring to try and work on attempting to turn him back, hoping he’ll find the answers in the ancient texts he retrieved from the library earlier and is currently reading through carefully at his desk.

As he has to light another candle in order to see well, because of the approaching night, he feels a pang of hunger making him realize he hasn’t eaten today. Loki glances over at Thor’s bed and finds the puppy isn’t there. He looks down and finds Thor curled up in a tiny ball at his feet sleeping, but he doesn’t look comfortable. 

Loki feels a sharp stab of guilt as he realizes he hasn’t fed Thor at all or even given him anything to drink, and unless he found something while he was outside to do his business then he hasn’t eaten at all since the change. He might be an absolute ass, incorrigible, and mean, but he isn’t cruel, not like that at least, not when the animal is helpless.

Loki reaches down and strokes a fingertip over the stripe of white running between Thor’s eyes and murmurs, “Are you hungry Thor?”

Big blue eyes pop open along with large ears flicking towards him in alertness as Thor yaps happily at the prospect. Loki has to quash the small smile that wants to escape, and it becomes less hard as Thor whines at him incessantly while he puts on something to go raid the kitchens. 

…

Loki learns over the next few days that the likelihood he’s ever going to Thor to sleep on the floor at night is great big whopping nope. He whines, he paws, he yaps, he howls, and if left any longer than that he starts knocking over anything on the shelves he can reach until Loki comes and gets him to put him on the bed. The stupid creature always looks properly chastised after Loki tells him how bad he is only for his ears to perk up and tail to start wagging as soon as he knows he’s gotten what he wanted, which is Loki’s attention and a spot on the bed. 

At least he’s more conscious about feeding Thor now and giving him water. Loki himself cares little for such things, but if there’s one thing he’s well aware of it’s Thor’s appetite. Besides the puppy tends to bother him a lot less if he isn’t hungry. 

Thor tends to be very excitable in the mornings, running around his room and wreaking absolute havoc only to pass out next to his feet the entire afternoon and then he’s up again for a couple hours before bed. Loki never knew it could be so exhausting to run around after a little ball of fluff that’s absolutely determined to get into or destroy everything he owns. He figures he’s lucky at least that Thor is small. 

Loki’s progress on the curse though is what irritates him the most. So far he’s found nothing, absolutely nothing, and he’s getting more irritable by the day. 

…

On the morning of the fifth day Thor announces his arrival back at Loki’s door by scratching on it, but once Loki lets him in and settles down at his desk to continue researching Thor places his paws on his thigh and whines.

“Off, you know better than that,” Loki scolds sharply, not even looking at the puppy.

The paws disappear and then a solid weight collides with his calf making him streak the ink on the parchment he’s attempting to take notes on. 

“Damn it Thor!” Loki exclaims furiously, as he shoves back from his desk to look at the puppy. 

Thor only cowers for a moment before running over to the door and barking. 

“I just let you out,” Loki says with a sigh as he gets up again and opens the door.

Thor doesn’t bolt out of it though, he just sits and barks again instead.

Loki huffs in frustration and replies, “I don’t speak dog, I don’t know what you want.” 

Thor runs back to his desk chair and puts his paws on it while looking at him and barking once before running back to the door and barking again.

Loki pinches the bridge of his nose and figures that since he’s hardly making any progress it won’t hurt to read outside for a bit. “Fine you insufferable creature I’ll go outside with you for a bit,” Loki replies before going to retrieve his book. 

Thor yaps happily and spins in circles until Loki opens the door for him again and he bolts down the hall as fast as his little legs will carry him towards Mother’s gardens.

Loki hardly has five minutes peace on one of the garden benches with his book before he’s startled by a sharp yap. He looks down and there’s Thor panting happily. 

“What?” he says sharply.

Thor barks and paws at a stick at his feet.

“You can’t be serious,” Loki deadpans, adding, “No, I’m not going to throw a damn stick for you.”

He barely gets to look at his page before Thor drops the stick right on the ancient pages. 

“Eww,” Loki says as he picks the stick up delicately and drops it back on the ground.

The stick is back on the open book in less than five seconds while Thor stands on Loki’s knees with his front paws and his tail wags madly behind him.

Loki heaves a deep suffering sigh and finally says, “Fine.”

He throws the stick but less than 45 seconds later it’s back on his book. Loki glares at Thor and says, “If I’m going to do this put it on the bench not on the book.”

Loki spends the next thirty minutes running Thor ragged with his little game of fetch, but he’s obedient and doesn’t put the stick on his book again. When Thor is finally tired he curls up on Loki’s feet and just sleeps in the shade of the tree with him. Loki sighs in relief, finally he can get some real reading done. 

…

When Loki is ready to head in because he knows Thor will be hungry soon the puppy tries to bring the stick with him, which he puts a stop to immediately. “Drop it Thor, I won’t let you have that slobber stick in my chambers,” he scolds sternly.

Thor flattens his ears and whines pitifully, but he still drops the stick only to stare at it longingly. 

Loki sighs a long frustrated sigh and considers briefly that even the hunting hounds in the royal kennel have toys, and even if Thor is a dog he’s probably bored a lot of the time. 

“How about I make you a toy when we get back?” he asks.

Thor’s ears perk and his tail starts wagging madly as he takes off for Loki’s rooms with the god himself following behind at a much more sedate pace. 

Back in his rooms he finds one of his decorative pillows and works on it for a bit to transfigure it into a stuffed Mjölnir for Thor, who is absolutely thrilled when he gives it to him. 

Loki has to admit it is pretty amusing to see Thor running around with a stuffed rendition of his hammer in his mouth. 

…

It happened slowly and really when Loki looks back on it he can’t pinpoint exactly when he stopped hating the little ball of fluff that is Thor.

As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks finally dragged on into months, he finds himself very much attached to his constant companion.

Loki has a somewhat sneaking suspicion that Thor knew what he was doing all along to end up where they are now. 

First it started with their sleeping arrangement. Somehow Thor migrated towards him from sleeping at his feet, to sleeping in the crook of his knee as he slept on his side, and finally insinuating himself expertly into Loki’s embrace every night. Loki still has no idea why Thor would want him to cuddle him, it’s not like he’s a source of warmth or anything close to it with his Jotun heritage. The little creature himself is a veritable furnace of heat and Loki doubts that even on pain of death would anyone ever get him to admit that cuddling the puppy results in the best night’s sleep he can even remember.

In the beginning Thor could only convince him to come outside with him to play fetch a couple of times a week. As time wore on however, and Loki realized breaking the curse was going to take far more time than he had originally anticipated, he became more amendable to spending time outside with Thor, since even he didn’t enjoy being ensconced in his room for days on end. Now he plays fetch with Thor twice a day and even goes on walks with him around the palace, while Thor remains faithfully at his heels. 

Thor now has a mountain of toys stashed in Loki’s room, but his favorite by far is his stuffed Mjölnir and Loki is grateful he had the foresight to cast a preservation charm on the thing considering how much Thor plays with it. The puppy has earned many an ‘Aww’ or ‘Look how adorable he is!’ from the servants that catch sight of him running through the halls after Loki bearing the hammer in his mouth. Loki only smirks to himself and wonders how horrified Thor will be once he’s back to normal, since he’s fairly sure the burly warrior would balk at ever being referred to as ‘adorable’. 

Thor has grown too over the last several months and Loki thinks he’s only weeks away from managing to jump on his bed all by himself. Even though Thor can jump down just fine he still refuses to do so until Loki gets up with him. He’s been woken up enough times now by Thor’s tongue licking his face that he doesn’t even protest anymore, though he thinks Thor counts his biggest victory as winning a spot on his lap while he reads. Thor is just the right size to sit in his lap while they’re outside or he’s on the couch and Loki has taken to just petting him absently while he winds down every night with a drink on his couch. He always ends up having to carry a passed out Thor to bed, though the puppy always wakes long enough to curl into his embrace before falling asleep again. 

Loki never really noticed the progression of any of these things until he was conversing with Eir one day, theorizing out loud to the healer in the hopes he might have some stroke of brilliance to turn Thor back. Thor had placed his paws on his thigh and whined and Loki had picked him up automatically without even looking at him. Eir had smiled mysteriously at him and remarked how close he seemed to be getting to Thor, and she would certainly know since she’s known them both since they were in diapers. Loki had been temporarily horrified upon realizing the truth of her statement, but he found quickly that when he tried to ignore Thor he simply couldn’t anymore. The creature’s sad whimpers at his feet seemed to be directly connected to his heartstrings, and even though Loki was fairly certain his was made of ice it still pained him all the same.

…

Now that Loki is staring at the spell in the book he’s been searching for, for so long, he’s struck by the selfish desire to keep Thor just as he is. He knows he can’t of course, and that Asgard is actually in danger as long as her greatest warrior is out of commission, but it still doesn’t keep him from wanting to have Thor all to himself. 

Even though Loki knows both of them by the same name he still doesn’t really associate the puppy Thor with his Aesir self all that much. They’re very much alike, of that Loki is sure, both of them being generally good natured and happy along with managing to endear themselves to anyone that crosses their paths, but from there their attributes seem to diverge. The puppy Thor is playful and sweet, where as Loki has been on the receiving end of Aesir Thor’s ‘playfulness’ more than once and was lucky he could still manage to stand. Aesir Thor takes everything as a personal insult or challenge to his ‘manhood’ and Loki can’t stand it, much preferring puppy Thor and his lack of ego. Puppy Thor is only proud of himself when he catches the things Loki throws for him, and he looks to Loki for approval and praise rather than all of Asgard. He’d be a liar if he didn’t admit that it actually feels a little good, in a sort of guilty way, to have Thor seek his approval rather than the other way around, even though he gave up trying centuries ago. The biggest thing that separates them though is that Aesir Thor has a streak of arrogance a mile wide and Loki can’t stand him because of it. It would be one thing if Thor were as good at everything as he is and accepted the praise and glory with grace, but instead he acts as if it is owed to him and Loki hates it. 

If Loki is honest though none of those reasons are really why he wants to keep Thor all to himself. He’s never really put much thought into it in the last however many centuries he’s been alive, but he’s… lonely. It’s not that he wants a bunch of sycophants for friends like Thor has, but before Thor the puppy Loki can’t even recall the last time he shared a bed for the night with anyone. It’s different than having friends, though the Aesir he even counts as such can be counted on one hand, or at least the ones that he feels talk to him on his own merit rather than his association to Thor. He’s always liked being a loner and independent of anyone or anything, but it seems his heart has made an exception quite without his mind’s permission. 

As he stares at the spell Loki can’t make up his mind if he should be grateful that this happened. At the moment though, all he really feels is bitter over all of this. It feels like his life is one series of torments after another. Anytime he finds or gets to have something that brings him a little peace or happiness it is always torn or taken away from him, and it seems this time isn’t any different. Loki wonders if he’ll ever be able to kill the part of himself that wants those things, because it would make his life so much easier. 

Loki takes a breath and reconsiders the spell. It’s a tricky thing even for him, but far from being out of the realm of his capabilities. One thing Loki hates about transfiguration spells like these is that they are far easier to cast than to undo. It’s no wonder it took him so long to track it down, most transfiguration is temporary and Loki figures Amora had to be even more pissed than he originally thought to do this to Thor. 

The most important part of the spell, and what makes it so complex besides its longevity, is that Amora turned Thor into an actual dog, complete with the mind of one. Most transfiguration is only cosmetic like his illusions, but the spelled individual retains its mind. Loki would venture a guess she did it this way in the hopes Thor made a fool of himself in a way that his reputation might never recover, or at least that’s the only plausible explanation he can come up with. As a result though Loki is fairly sure Thor will remember nothing of the last five months, and it will be just as if he’d had his little tiff with Amora and woken up in the infirmary the next day. 

Loki can’t decide if he should be grateful for that or sad. 

At least this way it will keep things from getting awkward between them. Besides, if Thor did remember there’s no telling how he’d react. So yes, perhaps it is best that Loki just forget this whole ordeal as soon as possible. 

But first just one more night couldn’t hurt, just… just so he can hold onto this feeling of being almost happy for a little longer. 

…

Loki wakes in the morning to the feeling of a wet tongue lapping across his face, which is nothing new, but the honest smile he bestows on the puppy is. He gives Thor an affectionate rub on the head, that the puppy accepts happily, before running to the end of the bed and yapping excitedly.

“I’m coming,” Loki murmurs as he slips out of bed and allows the little fur ball to scamper past him once he opens the door. 

He goes about his usual routine of getting ready and finding breakfast for them before going outside with Thor following in tow, proudly bearing his stuffed Mjölnir in his mouth the whole way. 

Throwing the toy has already become a favored nostalgic pastime for Loki, though it takes considerably longer to wear Thor out now. There is at least a method to his madness today, because he thinks when he turns Thor back he could be very disoriented and the more tired he is the better. 

When Thor is finally exhausted he simply drapes himself across Loki’s lap like a throw blanket, and Loki indulges in petting him for an hour or so while he naps and he takes the chance to savor the experience. Eventually though he picks up the still sleeping puppy and his toy and takes them to his room. 

Loki looks down at the sleeping ball of fluff on his bed and gives him a gentle pet before departing for Thor’s rooms to retrieve a set of armor for him. He uses the time it takes to go there and back to work on refortifying his mental defenses, and by the time he’s arrived back at his room he feels ready to do what he must.

His resolve wavers dangerously when Thor is waiting for him, cracking one blue eye open to see him and then hopping up and wagging his tail happily upon realizing he’s back.

Loki sets the clothing on the end of the bed only for Thor to jump on him, placing his little paws on his chest and licking him in greeting.

“Yes, yes I came back,” Loki mutters automatically out of habit as he strokes Thor’s silky fur. 

Loki picks Thor up and sets him on the floor before kneeling down in front of him and petting him gently.

“I have to change you back now,” Loki murmurs, causing Thor to cock his head at him. 

Talking to the creature as if he were Aesir is something Loki has taken to doing the last couple months. He knows Thor understands to an extent, but how much he isn’t sure, though he assumes Thor understands his tone rather than his words really.

“You aren’t meant to be this way and I can’t keep you like this,” he continues quietly.

Thor ducks his ears and whines making Loki smile sadly.

“I think I might actually miss you a bit you insufferable creature,” he murmurs softly. Thor places his paws on his chest and licks at his face making him laugh, but the sound is a bit broken even to his own ears.

“None of that now,” Loki scolds gently as he maneuvers Thor back into a sitting position on the floor. He hesitates slightly and then presses a kiss to Thor’s forehead before intoning firmly, “Stay,” and then standing to take a step back.

Thor just looks at him confusedly but Loki only says, “You’ll be good as new in no time,” before he begins to chant the necessary spell to turn Thor back.

…

Loki has a moment to muse to himself that under any other circumstances Thor sitting on his ass naked as the day he was born on the floor would be very amusing and probably hilarious, but that isn’t the case now.

Thor shakes his head dazedly, his long golden hair a shaggy halo around his face, before he looks up at Loki with a confused look on his face.

“Brother?” Thor asks quizzically.

Loki crosses his arms and scowls deeply before intoning scathingly, “Put on your clothes I do not wish to have a conversation with you while you’re attired as you are now.”

Thor blinks and then looks down, only now seeming to realize he’s naked. Loki just points to his clothes before turning his back on Thor so he can dress, not that Thor has a modest bone in his body. 

There’s some sounds of shuffling for a few seconds before Thor asks again, “Brother what…”

Loki turns quickly, and finds that at least Thor has his leather trousers on, as he interrupts, “You have been your typical foolish self and managed to get yourself cursed, and like always I had to clean up your mess. I don’t know what you did to piss Amora off like that, but I strongly advise against doing it again, since I will not be so willing to help you next time.”

Thor seems to be losing a substantial amount of color to his tanned face, but Loki doesn’t care and only snaps instead, “I’m done taking care of you and being your babysitter, and I fully expect you to be gone from this room by the time I get back.”

Loki doesn’t even give Thor a chance to reply before spinning on his heel and striding from his room, only adding, “Mjölnir is still in the entryway to the palace,” over his shoulder before shutting the door with a sharp click behind him. 

…

Loki steers clear of his quarters for the rest of the day, and though he tries to read in the library for a bit it’s futile, he just can’t concentrate. Walking the halls he already hears whispers of Thor’s return to normalcy from the servants, and eventually he just can’t take it so he goes to see Sleipnir. 

When Loki gets back to his room he’s still in a foul mood and seeing Thor’s toys strewn all over his floor doesn’t make it any better. In a fit of anger he banishes Thor’s food and water bowls before incinerating the toys and banishing that mess too.

Loki goes to flop on his bed for a nap and is stopped by Thor’s stuffed Mjölnir lying innocently atop the covers, and only saved by the preservation charm he’d put on it months before. He picks it up to destroy it too and try as he might, he just can’t find it in him to get rid of it. The toy is all he has left of the Thor that still loved him, the Thor that didn’t ignore him, or use him, or saw him as being someone lesser than him. 

He won’t cry, he won’t. There’s nothing to be done and that’s that, but the finality of knowing so still doesn’t keep Loki from curling up onto his bed and clutching the toy close, his mind swirling relentlessly until he finally drifts off from exhaustion. 

…

The next few days are very hard on Loki. He sees hide nor hair of Thor, but he hardly wants to either. Besides all he hears about is how happy everyone is to have him back so he assumes everything has returned to normal for the golden god, leaving him once again as the broken one. If he could find it in himself to be angry he would, but as it is now he just doesn’t care. 

Mother was the only one that even thought to thank him for all the effort he went to to bring Thor back, but he doesn’t stay to talk to her because he can’t stand the sad look in her eyes. 

Loki stumbles through the days trying to reassert his purpose within the realms because he has been so wholly devoted to finding a way to fix Thor for so long. The last thing he really wants to do is to study more seidr and he finds that he has too much pent up nervous energy to stay still. So early in the mornings and late at night, before and after the army has their training, he takes to practicing his throwing knives and staves in the practice rings. Other than that his days are filled with mindless meandering walks and some of the paperwork of the court that he’s expected to keep up on, that’s only been piling since Thor’s curse. 

Nights are a whole other matter all together and Loki is coming to dread them. The first night he tossed and turned and finally relented into trying to hold onto one of his decorative pillows. It wasn’t the same though, not even when he charmed it to stay warm the next night, or transfigured it into the shape of puppy Thor the next. Loki got so frustrated he made a clone of himself and had it shift into a puppy for him to hold, which earned him a weird and rather pitying look from his clone, but even that wasn’t enough for a good night’s rest. 

Everything seems to be wrong with the things he tries. They’re not soft enough, or warm enough, his clone doesn’t breathe in the same pattern, and none of them smell like puppy Thor’s summer rain scent. Loki just gives up and goes back to hugging his toy Mjölnir by the fifth night, completely resigned to getting a poor night’s sleep from now on.

The fourth day without Thor Loki finally saw him in the evening from afar on the training field, since he seemed to be wrestling with his friends in one of the free arenas. He’d abandoned his own training as soon as it looked like Thor was headed for him, as he had no desire to talk to him. Perhaps that lie to himself was why he chose to use his clone that night, maybe some strange attempt to prove to himself he isn’t nearly as attached to Thor as he knows he is.

The fifth day Loki kept having the creepy sensation that he was being watched and by that night he just resigned himself to having lost yet another sliver of his sanity to this whole debacle.

…

The morning of the sixth day when Loki arrives at the training area he finds Thor sitting on one of the posts upholding the arena’s boundaries. The golden god is holding Mjölnir on his lap as he runs his fingertips over her form.

Loki isn’t close enough to really make out Thor’s face, but he has no doubt as to why the god is there. He simply turns and leaves before Thor catches sight of him, since he doesn’t think he’s ready to face him just yet.

That night Loki has barely had a few seconds to settle into bed, not even getting a chance to extinguish his candles, when there’s a knock at his door. He stares at it a bit quizzically because very few come calling for him in his quarters. It’s too late for it to be Mother and the servants have already attended to his room for the day, and Thor never knocks, much preferring to just barge in uninvited instead.

Loki gives up on wondering who it is and gets up, striding to his door and nearly flinging it open with a scowl already set upon his face.

It’s Thor… dressed in leisurewear rather than his preferred armor, but that’s not what really draws his attention. Thor looks like absolute Hel and Loki thought he looked bad. Even in the weak light Loki can see the circles under his eyes, the tightness in his mouth, the lines of his face seem more prominent than usual, and his massive shoulders are hunched as he stares at the floor. 

None of these things keep him from snapping, “What? What else could you possibly want now? Have I not done enough already?”

Thor swallows and doesn’t raise his gaze from the floor, but his shoulders droop further and he simply nods before turning to leave. 

Loki wrestles with himself for a moment and some part of him is still curious as to what Thor could possibly want from him now to come calling at such a late hour.

He sighs softly in frustration at himself, and Thor only manages a couple of steps down the hall before Loki forces himself to articulate in a far less hostile tone, “Why are you here Thor?”

Thor stops and there’s a long pause before he turns to look at him. The golden god only flicks his gaze up to meet Loki’s briefly before returning it to his feet as he asks softly, “Did you really dislike me so much as a dog as you do now?”

Loki’s famous silver tongue seems to be failing him at the moment because he has no idea what to say to that.

There’s a long uncomfortable pregnant pause before Thor nods and murmurs, “I’m sorry I was such a burden on you for all that time. Thank you for working so hard to change me back.”

Thor only begins to turn away from him again, and before Loki can stop himself he queries, “Why would you ask me that?” 

Thor shrugs his big shoulders and mumbles, “I just thought…” and he stumbles a bit over his words, “I thought that maybe you didn’t… you know, dislike me and all, as much as usual at least.” There’s another long pause before Thor adds, “At least that’s the way I remember it.”

A heavy feeling settles in Loki’s stomach and he can barely force out, “You remember?” 

Thor starts to nod and then stops to shake his head before he replies quietly, “Not the way you think. I have some memories, flashes of images and things like that, but other than that no. I do remember being a dog, but more the experience of it. Dogs do not think in the same terms we do, rather they think in feelings. Everything is simpler that way, no thoughts or rationalizations to try and sort through, and rather when a feeling is evoked you simply act upon it instead.”

Thor glances up at him and a sad smile hovers on his lips as he adds, “I remember being happy. I remember being a lot of things actually. I’m not sure what made me think that maybe…” Thor suddenly shakes his head seemingly at himself before muttering, “No matter. I apologize for troubling you at such a late hour.”

Thor turns to leave for a second time and Loki suddenly blurts out, “No,” his heart choosing to speak for him quite without his mind’s consent.

Thor looks up at him sharply and his brow knits in confusion so Loki elaborates quietly, “No, I didn’t dislike you as a canine, despite your best attempts to test both my patience and sanity at the start.” 

“Oh,” Thor mutters before nodding and looking like he’s about to leave again.

“You still haven’t told me why you’re here though,” Loki prompts.

Thor drops his gaze resolutely to his feet and mumbles, “I don’t know what possessed me to come. I have not slept in five days, and my room no longer feels as if it is my own, and my bed feels too big, and nothing feels right anymore, and…”

Loki doesn’t doubt Thor could keep going, but rather than let him he simply opens his door wider and intones, “Come in then.”

Thor looks up at him in surprise and stands there long enough that Loki prods, “Unless you want to sleep guarding the door.”

Thor seems to snap out of it and shuffles past him. 

When Loki has closed his door he turns to find a rather hesitant looking Thor standing at the foot of his bed. Loki only sets a hand on Thor’s lower back and gives him a gentle push as he remarks, “One usually gets in a bed to sleep rather than stare at it until it puts them to sleep.”

Thor doesn’t reply, but he does move to climb in the bed while Loki extinguishes the candles and does the same. 

It seems Thor has only now noticed his stuffed Mjölnir that Loki had left on the bed and is now fingering it with his big hands.

Even in the dark Loki can see Thor just fine with the moonlight from the window, and after a minute Thor breaks the silence to murmur, “You kept it.”

Loki hesitates for a long moment before he offers, “It holds good memories. You loved that thing to death.”

Thor nods and replies quietly, “I remember it was the first toy you gave me, but more than anything I looked forward to when you would play with me and the way you would talk to me and pet me afterwards. I lived for that approval, it made me feel so happy and warm.”

Silence befalls them for a couple of minutes and Loki just watches the play of emotion on Thor’s expressive face while he looks at the toy.

Eventually Thor murmurs, “I miss it. I miss having something I’ve always wanted and now I feel selfish and ungrateful for wanting more.” 

“Miss what exactly?” Loki asks, frowning slightly in confusion. 

“Approval,” Thor murmurs, the word barely discernable. 

Loki’s frown deepens in displeasure as he returns, “You have the approval of all of Asgard, how much more could you possibly want?”

“None of them are you,” Thor replies quietly.

Whatever scathing remark that was waiting on Loki’s tongue is suddenly gone and he feels as if he’s been punched in the gut. 

It takes Loki a long moment to recover, but once he does he really has no idea what to say to that. Consoling isn’t in his nature, at least in a verbal sense. Instead all he says is, “Roll over.”

Thor looks at him a bit blankly for a moment before complying slowly, presenting his broad back to him. 

Loki doesn’t move quickly, but he does move deliberately as he presses up against Thor’s back and winds an arm around his middle to hold him close, just like he did when he was still a puppy. 

The familiarity of the body in his arms feels like a soothing balm to Loki’s tattered psyche. It seems that even if Thor isn’t covered in silky fur and about two hundred pounds lighter his heart still recognizes him all the same and the hardwired calm that he associates with doing this. It certainly helps that Thor’s breathing pattern and scent are the same and Loki breathes a sigh of relief.

Thor is only tense for a moment before he melts back against him and after a couple minutes Thor asks, “Aren’t I a little big for this now?”

“Not as long as you enjoy it, shut up and go to sleep Thor,” Loki mumbles tiredly.

A chuckle vibrates through Thor’s broad chest before he returns softly, “Thank you.”

“Mmm,” is all Loki manages before he finally succumbs to sleep. 

…

When Loki wakes it’s to the feeling of sunlight shining through his windows making him groan discontentedly. The sound of a soft chuckle makes his eyes snap open only to find Thor lying on the pillow opposite him just watching him. Loki isn’t sure if he should be disturbed or not.

“How long have you been watching me?” Loki queries a bit roughly.

“Only a few minutes, I think my shifting woke you,” Thor replies, but he has a slightly strange expression on his face.

“What is that expression for?” he dares to ask. 

“It is different now than when I was a dog to wake up next to you,” Thor remarks. 

Loki isn’t sure he has a serious response for that so all he says instead is, “If you lick me in greeting we will be having words.” 

Thor huffs a soft laugh, but the amusement doesn’t seem to reach his gentle blue eyes. “No,” he agrees, “I don’t want to lick you in greeting.” 

“Oh, so you had something else in mind then?” Loki tosses back easily, since wordplay is his specialty. 

The lightness of Loki’s tone is greatly contrasted by the seriousness of Thor’s as he replies, “Yes, actually I did.” 

Loki doesn’t get a chance to ask just what that is before Thor leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to his lips. Thor pulls back and smiles, but his eyes look pained even as he greets lowly, “Good morning Brother,” and with that Thor slips from the bed and departs quietly, leaving a very stunned Loki in his wake. 

It takes a few minutes for the shock to start to wear off, and when it does Loki touches his fingertips to his lips, trying to discern if that really happened or not.

Thor kissed him. Thor kissed him. On Asgard that is not a usual form of greeting between family, much less friends or acquaintances. A man might bestow a kiss on a maiden’s cheek or their other female family members, but on the lips never, and never between men. On Asgard kissing like that is exclusively for partners or lovers.

Loki wonders for one brief horrifying moment if he screwed up the spell, resulting in some of Thor’s wires getting crossed in the process. He’s quick to dismiss the idea though, because he knows he performed it perfectly.

Now all he’s left with is the why. His mind is a little stumped at that and Loki wonders if it’s some kind of side effect from the curse itself, or maybe Thor is simply confusing the affection he felt as a dog with something else now that he’s back to normal. The idea that that is most likely indeed the case hurts more than Loki thinks it should.

It’s only halfway through the day, when Loki is mindlessly wandering the halls of the palace, that it occurs to him that he isn’t horrified by what Thor did, or disgusted, or anything of the sort. The idea leaves him feeling even more lost than before as he has never thought of Thor in such a sense, granted he’s actually thought of very few that way ever. Before his thoughts become too wild Loki goes to visit his son to distract him for the afternoon. 

Eventually Loki can’t take it anymore and he bids his son farewell to go wait in Thor’s rooms until he returns, because he is getting his answers one way or another.

…

From Loki’s vantage point on Thor’s couch the golden god looks sweaty and tired when he finally walks into his room, but there’s a raggedness to his stance and body that isn’t usually there.

When Thor leans his forehead against his closed door and lets out a long breath Loki decides it’s time to announce his presence saying, “So, would you care to explain this morning?”

Thor stiffens before turning slowly to face him, and he seems to be at a loss for words for a moment before he manages, “Brother,” in greeting.

Loki just raises an eyebrow and prods, “Well?”

Thor swallows and looks at the floor as he murmurs, “Not particularly, no.”

Loki watches Thor walk over to his dresser and pull out nightclothes, and when he makes his way for the bathroom Loki inquires again, “So that’s it then?”

Thor pauses with his hand on the doorknob, but doesn’t turn to look at him as he replies quietly, “Just call it a serious lapse in judgment done in a moment of impulsivity. I apologize and it won’t happen again.”

Thor opens the bathroom door, but Loki is quick to ask, “Would you have done that before you were a dog?”

Thor stops abruptly, and Loki can read the tension in his shoulders even as he nods jerkily before he steps inside the bathroom entirely, closing the door behind him softly. 

…

Loki stays where he is while he thinks and tries to sort through the tangle of thoughts and emotions suddenly evoked with this new information. He’s sure Thor expects him to be gone by the time he’s done bathing, but if Loki is honest he doesn’t want to be.

Everything he knows about Thor seems to be trying to forcefully realign itself in his head and Loki feels like he’s been sent for a loop. The Thor he’s encountered in the last 24 hours is nothing like the Thor he remembers, he’s so… vulnerable, which is a trait he’s never associated with the golden god. Sure he can hurt Thor’s feelings and he’s vulnerable in that sense, but this? The way Thor appears to him now it’s as if his words flay him to his very core. Such power to affect Thor like that is something he would have jumped on not terribly long ago. Now Loki feels as if he is handling something very fragile when he faces Thor.

Loki isn’t sure if he should be relieved by Thor’s answer either. He thinks things would have been easier if this was all some weird side effect so he could just dismiss it and get on with figuring out how to get over this whole mess. As things are now though? Loki knows that for either of them to just walk away isn’t a possibility. 

He just… he isn’t sure what he feels, or what he wants for that matter. But if there’s one thing Loki is sure of it’s that he doesn’t want to let go of whatever this is that he has with Thor now, this tangible connection that he only recognizes echoes of from when they were children. It’s a different feeling now, but he can recognize intellectually that it’s just a variation of what he used to feel for Thor. Loki hesitates to call it love because he’s never been good with such things, that was always Thor’s department.

Thor seems to know what he wants though, and even if Loki isn’t entirely sure just how much that actually is he’s still unwilling to let this go. He isn’t sure what he wants, but he isn’t put off by Thor either, and he figures he won’t know unless he tries.

Loki nods to himself, having made his decision, and waves a hand over himself to change his clothing to sleepwear before retrieving a book and sliding into Thor’s bed, waiting for him to be done with his bath. 

…

Thor reemerges rubbing a linen over his damp golden locks and still looking like Hel, just freshly washed instead, and stops abruptly seeing Loki reading in the bed. 

Loki doesn’t look up from his book and drawls casually as he turns a page, “Are you coming to bed or do you plan on standing there and gawking at me all night?”

Out of the corner of Loki’s eye Thor seems to shake his head, as if to determine whether he is seeing things, before approaching cautiously, setting his linen on the end of the bed and then climbing in gingerly. 

“What are you doing here Brother?” Thor asks quietly.

Loki closes the book and sets it on the side table before turning to Thor and replying, “I had thought that would be rather obvious, I am in pajamas and in your bed, but just in case you need me to spell it out for you I planned on sleeping here tonight. You have a pitiful selection of books by the way.”

Thor just stares at him with his big blue eyes and seems to be at a loss for words, but long enough for doubt to start to creep its way into the edges of Loki’s mind so that he offers as neutrally as he can manage, “I can leave if you like.”

That gets a response because Thor exclaims, “No!” his hand darting out to grasp Loki’s wrist firmly, as if to keep him close by force if necessary. Loki startles slightly from the vehement exclamation, but he doesn’t try to pull away from Thor. 

As soon as it seems to register with Thor what he’s done he snatches his hand away as if burned and his gaze drops to his lap while his cheeks darken slightly in what Loki imagines is shame or embarrassment. 

“No,” Thor reiterates in a much softer tone, “Please stay.”

“Okay,” Loki murmurs quietly before extinguishing the candles with a wave of his hand. 

They lie down together underneath the covers, but Thor still remains a respectable distance away, just watching him cautiously. 

Loki offers Thor his right hand and intones softly, “I won’t bite.”

Thor swallows audibly but grasps his slender cool hand with both of his large ones and cradles it tenderly, using his calloused thumbs to rub the soft skin there.

Silence stretches between them for a minute and Loki can tell Thor is trying to come up with something to say. Finally all Thor asks is, “Why would you stay?”

Loki looks down slightly and brings his other hand up to gently feather his fingertips over the knuckles of Thor’s large right hand. The golden god releases his trapped one in favor of allowing Loki to caress his at his leisure.

As Loki explores the ridges and callouses he frowns slightly before offering, “I’m really… I’m not sure I have a satisfactory answer to that Thor.”

Loki looks back up and even in the twilight of the room he can tell Thor is studying him intently. 

Loki thinks hard for a moment before finally saying, “I’m not good with people, you know this about me. I only know how to tell them what they want to hear or what I think they need to hear. I don’t know how to be genuine like you are Thor. Perhaps after living and telling so many lies in my life I have simply become them. I don’t know what I want really, but I know what I don’t want to lose, and I don’t want to lose this. I’m not upset, surprised definitely, but not upset or anything else along those lines. I’m… amendable at least to trying. I think my mind is still trying to work its way around the whole deal to be honest though.”

Tension that Loki wasn’t aware Thor was holding inside seems to bleed out of him and he smiles gently in a way that tells Loki he’s pleased and happy. Loki is a little more surprised at how good it makes him feel to make Thor smile like that, and he doesn’t really remember ever seeing that exact expression from Thor before either.

Thor nods and murmurs, “That is all I could ever ask for Loki.”

A small smile drifts over Loki’s lips at the sound of his name, though he’s hardly allowed to hold the expression since Thor leans forward and presses their lips together in a chaste kiss before withdrawing and turning over so his back is to him. 

Loki takes the hint and presses against Thor’s broad back with his own tall lean form, but he takes a moment to run his fingers through Thor’s damp hair and murmur a drying spell, resulting in a soft chuckle from the golden god.

Loki slips his long wiry arm around Thor’s waist and settles fully against him, still feeling worn out from the toll this week has taken on him. He can’t help but smile a little though when Thor interlaces their fingers and holds them close to his chest.

…

Loki isn’t sure whether he should be pleased or disappointed with Thor’s behavior. In the following days Thor is very well behaved, only stealing a brief kiss in the morning and just before they go to sleep at night, now that they have an established routine of Thor coming to his room. 

It’s just that well… now he’s curious. Now that Thor has opened the door Loki’s mind just can’t resist the temptation to explore what has never even been a possibility before. 

He’s taken to hanging around the practice rings shortly before he’s due to practice, which he plans to keep doing because he’s gotten a little rusty, just so he can unobtrusively watch Thor and his friends. He uses a cloaking spell so he melts into the shadows to watch Thor initially, but after several days of that he decides it takes too much effort to maintain the spell and after all he’s doing nothing wrong. Instead he chooses to lean against one of the tall pillars of the palace overlooking the training ground so he has a good vantage point without being too obvious.

The results are… interesting to say the least. As soon as Thor realizes he’s there watching, a change seems to come over him. Loki isn’t sure he would call it showing off, because he doesn’t think Thor is quite aware that he’s doing it, but the golden prince is definitely more on his game with him watching. Thor looks so pleased with himself by the end too, tossing a glowing smile Loki’s way, and he can’t help but transpose the image of his puppy Thor looking so proud of catching whatever he’d thrown onto this one, and he realizes they’re not so different after all. The realization makes him smile a little and he nods his approval in return, which makes Thor brighten noticeably.

It’s a little strange to Loki to think that to get Thor’s attention all he had to do was be there to watch him. For so long he felt ignored and he can’t deny it feels good to have Thor acknowledge him finally. He is surprised that his opinion seems to matter so much to the golden god, because he’s never indicated such a thing before. Loki supposes he should give Thor more credit to be able to hide that from him. 

The other thing is now that Loki’s looking he admittedly likes what he sees. He’s always known that Thor was handsome, but his aesthetic appeal was always something he’d considered from a more objective, or perhaps artistic, standpoint. Now that he looks at him though, Loki can’t deny the golden god’s beauty. By Aesir standards Thor is drop dead gorgeous with his broad shoulders, bronzed skin, chiseled physique, and strong jaw, not to mention his wavy golden hair and electric blue eyes. Loki muses to himself that Thor’s beauty seems to go beyond the physical and translate into radiance, meaning his natural optimism and charisma for life seems to infuse him with a glow and energy no one else can seem to replicate. Loki likens him more to the sun than the storm, though he certainly holds all the power of one to be certain. 

…

That night when Loki has finished his bath he finds Thor on his couch in front of the fire, seeming to gaze into it without really seeing anything.

“Thor?” he queries softly. 

Thor turns to look at him and smiles gently, Loki is learning to really like that smile, before getting up and padding over to him. 

“You were watching today,” Thor remarks as he grasps Loki’s hand and pulls him gently towards the bed.

Loki climbs in and waves the candles out, leaving the light of the fire, before replying, “Today was just the first time you saw me.” 

Loki turns to see Thor climb in and lie down next to him as he asks, “You’ve been watching?” 

This is one of those times Loki could say something smart and undoubtedly hurt Thor’s feelings, but rather than do that he just says instead, “Yes.” 

Thor glows with pleasure, looking so very happy, and Loki has the most irresistible urge to pet him. He doesn’t realize he’s already extended his hand to run his fingers through Thor’s hair until it’s too late. Loki’s fingers barely make contact before he snatches them away and mutters, “Apologies.” 

Thor catches his hand before he can draw it away entirely and brings it to his cheek as he murmurs, “It’s okay.” 

Loki hesitantly cups Thor’s bearded jaw and runs his thumb over the line of his cheekbone. Thor hums softly and closes his eyes before nuzzling into his caress making Loki’s touches more confident as he gently explores the golden god’s chiseled features.

When Loki has contented himself with learning the lines of Thor’s face, and moves to thread his fingers through Thor’s golden hair, the god makes a contented noise causing Loki to stroke a little firmer on his next pass. 

“Enjoying this are you?” Loki asks with a gentle smile. 

“Mmm,” Thor hums in affirmation, but the sound comes from deep within his chest so it sounds almost like a growl. 

Loki scrubs at Thor’s scalp with his fingertips before remarking, “Still the same I suppose, you were always so greedy to be petted as a pup.” 

“I loved the attention, and I still do,” Thor murmurs before opening his blue eyes to look at him in the dim light of the room. There’s a pause before he continues, “You are so often consumed in your studies and seidr that the only time you pay attention to me is when you want to yell at me for doing something wrong.” 

Loki purses his lips in a frown because he can’t deny Thor’s claim and instead all he offers is, “It never seemed to make a difference whether I paid attention to you or not, so eventually I just gave up and pursued the things that held my interest. I felt like my opinion and attention didn’t matter, you certainly never seemed the worse for it.”

Thor looks down and murmurs, “That is perhaps one of my greatest regrets, that I took such shameful advantage of your attentions in our youth, and took you for granted thinking you would always be there. I was too arrogant to say anything when you first turned your attentions elsewhere, selfishly thinking that just because of who I was meant I was owed your attention. Eventually it became a matter of pride, where I was ashamed to admit how much your opinion mattered to me and how much it hurt that you no longer found me worthy of those things.” 

Loki’s chest feels inexplicably tight hearing Thor acknowledge that he has some culpability in all of this, but more than anything he feels relieved because for so long he felt like he wasn’t important to Thor when Thor was such an integral part of him. Loki finally settles on replying, “Neither of us are free of fault. Perhaps now we can begin to put it behind us.”

Thor looks back up at him and smiles softly, his eyes glittering with warmth even in the shadowed lighting of the fire. “I would like that,” Thor returns quietly before leaning forward and pressing their lips together. 

When Thor starts to pull away Loki tightens his grip on his golden hair to keep Thor in place. There’s a brief pause while Thor seems to register what Loki is asking before he makes a low humming noise of happiness and begins to kiss Loki in earnest. Loki sighs into the kiss and allows Thor to part his lips and pull him in deeper. 

Loki muses to himself that this isn’t nearly as awkward as he imagined it might have been and instead he finds that he quite enjoys kissing Thor. Kissing isn’t something he’s ever been terribly fond of, as it was really only something he learned to do out of sheer necessity because his female partners expected it. Men, in Loki’s experience, tend to not be as physical when it comes to relations, but whether that’s because that’s the way they are or because it was likely a one time thing with him he isn’t sure. What Loki does know is that Thor tends to be a little more openly affectionate than your average Aesir male, but for the first time that doesn’t bother him and instead he rather likes it. As much as Loki might pretend to not care the plain fact is that he does, and just as Thor seems to enjoy being paid attention to he very much enjoys the reciprocated attention in kind. It makes him feel like he’s Thor’s whole world, and it feels good, so good. 

As for actually kissing Thor, the warrior’s mouth is even hotter than his body, serving as a sharp contrast to his own coolness. The way their mouths slot together makes it seem like the most natural act in the world, and Loki definitely enjoys the sensual feel of Thor’s fuller slightly chapped lips against his own. The roughness of Thor’s short beard also brings a startling realness to the kiss that he can’t ever remember feeling, but if there’s any one thing he likes most it’s Thor’s confidence. Thor kisses with such assurance that isn’t overwhelming but rather it feels comforting. It’s a give and take with Thor coaxing him to respond and he likes it.

When Thor pulls away Loki is panting softly and he feels a little dazed. Thor offers him a glowing smile that’s more in his eyes than anything else, and Loki can’t help but smile back. Loki closes his eyes when Thor uses his big hand to cup his cheek and he’s a little surprised at how gentle the golden god’s touch is. 

Loki revels in the affectionate touch for a moment before a question that proves to be rather pressing occurs to him. He opens his eyes to look at Thor before he asks, “You know, you never did tell me what Amora was so upset at you for.”

Even in the dim light of the fire Loki can tell Thor is blushing bright red making him grin and tease, “Oh it must be good to get this kind of reaction.”

“Loki!” Thor moans in embarrassment as he buries his face in his pillow.

Loki laughs lightly and reasons, “It can’t be that bad Thor, after all I’m privy to practically all your secrets.” 

“Yes it can,” Thor mumbles into the pillow. 

“Please,” Loki scoffs dismissively. 

Thor only makes a moaning sound and buries his face further into the pillow. 

“No more kisses until you tell me,” Loki threatens.

Thor looks at him and scowls before muttering, “You’re evil, you know that?”

Loki smirks and returns, “I prefer the term clever.” 

Thor huffs and stalls for a long moment before muttering, “She cast some sort of truth spell on me without my knowledge. You know how infatuated she is.”

Loki snorts because infatuated is putting it kindly, he prefers the term obsessed. 

Thor shoots him a look, but continues with, “Well she seemed to have it in her head that I felt the same. I didn’t even know anything was wrong until we were already in bed together and she said something along the lines of, ‘Tell me I’m the only one you’ll ever love,’ or something equally ridiculous. She wasn’t exactly pleased when it wasn’t her name that came out of my mouth.”

Loki can’t contain his laugh, earning him a glower from Thor, but when he gets ahold of himself he inquires, “Pray tell whose name you did say then.” 

Thor just gives him a long look, and it takes Loki an embarrassingly long time to realize what Thor isn’t saying. When he does though he turns bright pink as he murmurs, “Oh.” 

“Yes, oh,” Thor reiterates looking partially amused and partially annoyed. 

Loki looks down and tries to sort through the sudden tangle of emotions he feels knotted within his chest. 

“Loki? What’s wrong?” Thor asks gently after a few minutes of silence have spanned between them.

Loki looks back up at Thor and his tongue seems to stick in his mouth for a moment before he can manage, “I just… I suppose I thought that this was just… convenient for you, or something…” and he trails off there, not sure of what else to say.

Thor frowns deeply and Loki feels a little apprehensive of the god’s reaction. Rather than reprimand him though Thor cups his cheek gently in his warm calloused hand before replying sincerely, “There is nothing convenient about you, or this for that matter. You are who I want, it was just never a possibility before. I felt if I could only have you as my brother then that would have to be enough.”

Loki frowns a little too and finally says, “So you’ve wanted this for a long time then.”

Thor lets his hand drop from Loki’s cheek as well as his gaze before he nods and murmurs, “Yes, though I wouldn’t even acknowledge it until your parentage came to light. Not that that really makes it any better since we’ve still been raised as brothers.” 

“Don’t,” Loki says firmly causing Thor to look up at him sharply, confusion clouding his handsome face. 

“Don’t keep punishing yourself,” Loki reiterates seriously. Thor frowns slightly and looks like he’s about to protest, but Loki cuts him off with, “I’m not innocent in this Thor, and I do this with you willingly. It says just as much about me as it does about you that I would allow this with you. So stop making yourself feel guilty, I think you’ve done enough of that already.” 

Thor swallows and looks a little choked up, and Loki realizes he’s been suffering for quite a while under a burden like this. He threads his slim fingers into Thor’s golden hair and murmurs, “It’ll be okay now,” before he presses a kiss to Thor’s lips, and as soon as Loki says it he knows it’s true too. 

Thor kisses him like he’s air for a drowning man, and Loki can’t help but smile into it. He feels warm and truly loved for the first time in a long time.

…

So if Thor wakes him up with kisses and cuddles every morning Loki doesn’t really mind. And if those cuddles sometimes turn into a lot more, then well… Loki doesn’t mind that so much either.


End file.
